I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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