He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
