worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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