how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
