you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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