I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
