I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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