are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
