The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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