How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
