You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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