you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
