I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
