Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
