just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You were trust falling into bushes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
