This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
