I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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