I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
