I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
