we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
