How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
