I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
