I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it hurts more in the daytime
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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