Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
