im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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