But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
