Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
