You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
