Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
