dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
