Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
