i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
