I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
