i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
