matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
