Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
