i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
