He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
