i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
