I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
