You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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