I need help removing her.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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