As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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