party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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