ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you inspire me to be a worse person
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
