i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's always time for handjobs
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
