I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
