Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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