I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
