Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
