We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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