I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
