I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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