I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
