i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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