Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
